If you feel a bit stuck the past couple of years – hey you’re not alone! The COVID-19 pandemic, lockdowns and restrictions have made a lot of people feel stuck literally and mentally. One of the most commonly frequently asked questions I get from clients is “How do I build resilience?” For me, resilience means bouncing back or even bouncing forward when faced with failures, challenges or set-backs. It means having the self-care and self-compassion when we fail, or when things don’t go according to our way. There is also a strong relationship between resilience and having a growth mindset, rather than a fixed mindset.
Let’s do a little exercise so I can show you what I mean. Say these statements out loud and finish them
“I don’t know how to…”
“I’m not good at…”
What did you say? Maybe you said “I’m not good at saving money” or “I don’t know how to juggle everything”.
If you would like to pursue your dreams and goals but you are faced with fear of the unknown and not knowing how to do anything you may be thinking, “I don’t know how to start a business” or “I don’t know how to be an artist/musician/insert whatever career or passion you have here”
How does it feel when you say that? Does it make you feel stuck in a rut? Does it make you feel resilient or vulnerable and stressed?
Now say the sentence again and this time, I want you to insert this word at the end. The word is ‘YET’.
“I’m not good at saving money YET”
“I don’t know how to juggle everything YET”
“ I don’t know how to start a business YET”
” I don’t know how to be an artist/musician/etc YET”
Now, how do you feel? Do you notice a subtle but important shift in the way you think?
Keep holding to that feeling, and pat yourself on the shoulders. You have just shifted from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. In a fixed mindset, you believe that your ability is fixed in stone, and there is nothing you can do about it. You may say things to yourself like “I’m only good at certain things” or “I hate challenges” or “There is nothing more for me to learn”.
In a growth mindset, you believe that you can change through your effort. You may say to yourself “I can become better at anything if I put the time and effort”, or “I try until I get the results I want”, or “I like learning about things I don’t know”.
Life can feel hard at times, and we can feel like we are stuck in a rut and don’t know what to do. Adding the word ‘yet’ to our vocabulary will change your mindset from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. This will build your resilience. You may start challenging yourself without being paralyzed by fear of failure, and this is how you will grow. It’s the cycle of challenging yourself, making mistakes, learning from it and growing that makes us better, wiser and stronger.
Try saying the word ‘yet’ whenever you say “I can’t…” or ” I don’t know how…” and start paying attention to the way you think about yourself and the world. This simple word will help you build your resilience and grow in 2022 and beyond.
If you are looking to build your resilience and move forward in 2022 and beyond and need more help, click on the link below to contact me: